The cake appointment is tomorrow –
Final tastings with the caterer are at 4pm –
Trial run for makeup and hair (also bridal portraits) are this evening –
Oh-my-goodness, where are my heels?!
…being a bride can get a little bit stressful. So it’s a good thing you’ll be surrounded by your nearest and dearest friends on wedding day. Right? Maybe…maybe not. The fact is, who you choose to be in your bridal party can either make or break your bridal experience. Here are five ways to keep drama at bay for your nuptials!
1. Choose your maids wisely to begin with.
Understand that your most recent office BFF might not be the best choice as a bridesmaid – honorary or official. You might chum it up at the water cooler on breaks. You may even have oh-so-much in common and go out to lunch practically every single day together. But does that really mean your newest pal is bridesmaid material?
While it’s true that she could be your next forever-friend, it’s also true that you could lose touch when one of you gets a promotion or opts for a new job elsewhere.
Who you choose to be your bridesmaid should be attached to your life in more than one way – running partners, craft explorers, church buddies, family, etc. In fact, your bridesmaids should be people you’d have to include if you did an autobiography detailing the last five years of your life.
2. Consider group dynamics, and be a proactive ringleader (along with your MOH).
Have all your bridesmaid candidates met before? Are their personalities similar? While it ultimately matters how you feel about each lady, keep in mind that they’ll be working a lot together over the next few months to pamper you. If there’s even a chance that one or more of them could end up fighting or sulking, you may need to adjust your roster – or address issues that could arise up front.
3. The people you surround yourself with should never be based on obligation.
“My groom’s future stepsister-in-law is around my age. Since my groom’s stepbrother is bringing her to the wedding, I thought it’d be nice to make her a bridesmaid and try to form a friendship.”
Wait a minute. What?
You may laugh, but I actually received a letter from a bride who’d done just this, and now is stuck with a not-so-nice bridesmaid who seems utterly focused on making the groom’s brother – her now ex-fiancé – miserable at the wedding. By extension, the bride, the groom, and the parents are now involved in a bit of a dramatic spat. What happened? She picked the wrong gal to be her bridesmaid out of some skewed sense of obligation.
Instead of asking people you’re expected to ask or feel like you should ask, opt for only the people you know – and love – to be your bridesmaids. This stands true for the guest list at many pre-bridal functions, too. And for the record: asking someone to be your bridesmaid is certainly not the best way to get to know her.
4. Stay in touch.
Schedules will get jumbled around. Life will get busy. So make sure you schedule time out to hang with each of your bridesmaids either individually or as a group! Letting lots of time go by with little to no contact can start to make any bride nervous. It’s important to stay in tune with what’s going on in your bridesmaids’ lives before the wedding – and vice versa.
5. Give your opinion and be transparent, but don’t be afraid to take advice.
One of the best ways to avoid drama is to establish rock-star communication from the very beginning. Be honest with your bridesmaids about what your expectations are (this helps you avoid disappointment), and welcome them to tell you what they think. Keeping the door open for communication at every step will help reduce the amount of pent-up stress and issues sure to come to light the week of the wedding!
What other suggestions do you have for avoiding bridal party drama around wedding day?
Tell me in the comments below!
Images courtesy of Chattanooga wedding photographer, HMX Photography.