Do you want your groom to be involved in the wedding-planning process?
You really should. Planning a wedding is not for the faint of heart. From flowers to catering to formalwear to family drama – and everything in between – the tasks at hand can seem daunting.
While the endless decision-making may leave you breathless, planning a wedding also comes with high levels of sheer elation. You’re getting to plan your wedding to the person of your dreams. What better task to share with your future spouse than that?!
Okay, so maybe your groom-to-be is really, really not the romantic type. Perhaps he shudders at the term “wedding.” Never fear! Even if he’d rather just hit the courthouse and head off for the honeymoon right now, you can use the five tips below to get him involved in slightly longer, more hands-on planning – and actually enjoy the process.
Attend a Pink Bride Wedding Show together.
The Pink Bride Wedding Shows aren’t just for the ladies, after all! They’re the largest, most-requested wedding shows in the state, featuring a variety of options you care about (like gowns and flowers) as well as a whole slew of options he’ll care about (like the honeymoon and food). They’re no longer seen as a “girly” rite of passage into wedding-planning. Pink Bride Wedding Shows let you see exactly what’s offered in your area, at many budget levels, with amazing show discounts and specials, all available for your big day. That means you can reserve services right there (aka knock out wedding-planning in one day, rather than one year!), or simply get a better feel for what things cost so you can create a realistic wedding budget. Either way, you should bring your groom along for the ride. It’s a blast! And, if all of that doesn’t convince him to join the fun…casually mention the full bar and cake samples. (They’re divine.)
Ask your groom for his opinion.
He has one! Planning a wedding together requires lots of give-and-take, mutual respect, negotiation, building of relationships, learning each other’s likes and dislikes and strengths or weaknesses, money management, love, and even sometimes forgiveness. (That’s a lot like marriage, FYI.) Consider it a bit like pre-marital counseling.
If you have a groom like mine, you’ll hear the phrase, “I’m happy with whatever you choose,” more often than you care to. Don’t get your feelings hurt by this, ladies. Explain that you really want to know what he thinks, good or bad. Maybe you could slide in how you think it’s sexy when he speaks his mind. Eventually, you’ll coax something out of him – or find something he really does care about, which leads me to my next point.
Give your groom a task or two he actually cares about to manage for the big day.
This can be the honeymoon, the catering, the formalwear – anything you know he’ll take seriously and enjoy. He can either surprise you with his decisions on the day-of or discuss the details with you once he’s narrowed his choices down so you can make the final decisions together.
Keep him in the loop about tasks you’ve both decided you should handle.
On those tasks he really doesn’t care to get involved in, it’s still a good idea to keep him informed about your decisions and ask if he’d change anything. My husband didn’t necessarily weigh-in on most details unless he genuinely didn’t like something, so it was good that I checked in with him prior to booking certain services.
Don’t nag, and don’t turn your relationship into little more than a wedding-planning partnership.
Now that you’re in the midst of planning season for the day you’ve dreamed about since you were a little girl, it’s easy to let the wedding rule your thoughts, conversations, and even entire relationships…especially where your groom is involved. Remember that the wedding is just the first day of a new life you’ll share for the duration of your marriage, though. So, keep the big picture in mind. Take a break every now and then from talking about anything and everything having to do with the wedding – except maybe how excited you are to finally call your man, “husband.” Both you and your groom will appreciate it, and your relationship will be stronger because of it!
If you use each of these steps when approaching your groom about wedding planning, you’re sure to get him more involved.
Have you been successful in getting your groom to help with wedding planning?
Tell me in the comments below!